School Girl | Searcy Arkansas Photographer

This post is very bitter sweet for me this morning.  I was thinking about waiting a day or two to post this but some things are best written while they are still fresh.  So here goes…

Today is Lily’s first day of Kindergarten.  Despite the fact that I have known this day would come for a long time, nothing could really prepare me for the heart-wrenching reality that so many moms experience this time every year.  I literally cried myself to sleep last night.  I don’t remember the last time I cried that hard.  I don’t consider myself a very emotional person, so I’m really surprised at how hard this has been for me!  When Lily was born, the decision to stay home with her was an easy one.  I didn’t want to miss any part of her growing up and we knew that being at home with her mom was the very best thing for her.  And it has been.  I thank the Lord every day for His provision making it possible for me to stay home with my girls.  I am so blessed and I know that not every woman has the luxury of staying home with her children.

As a mom, I continually worry about how well I am raising my kids.  More often than not, I feel like I must be a total failure as a parent and I suppose that just comes with the territory.  However, this morning I sent a confident, eager and joyful little girl out into the world (I know a kindergarten classroom may not seem like “the world” but give me a break, she isn’t in my nest!).  And today, I do feel like  a little bit more of a success as a parent.  I am proud that Lily is secure in who she is, in how much we love her and that she has grown into a sweet, gentle and socially independent little lady.  I would like to think that those qualities are a reflection of the job we have done raising her.

With all of her confidence and excitement, I have had my moments.  I’ve asked myself “Is she going to miss me?”, “Does she realize we’re not going to be together like we always have?”.  You see, she has been begging to go to Kindergarten since the day she turned 4.  I’ve never seen a child so ready to go!  I suppose there is a small part of me that secretly wanted her to hang on to my leg as we walked into her classroom and then she would slowly warm up to the room and shyly break away when it was time for me to go.  But  not my girl!  She busted the school doors wide open and jumped right into the swing of things.  Yesterday at the school open house, though, Lily gave me my moment.  She was busy running around and checking things out in her classroom but stopped and came over to me.  She grabbed both of my hands and pulled me down to her level and whispered “Mommy, I am going to miss you while I’m at school”.  And that was all this mommy needed to hear.  She is going to miss me and I am going to miss her and I am going to be ok.   I’ll probably have to tell myself that 1,000 more times this week but I think I’m going to make it.  What’s most important is that I know she is going to make it JUST fine.

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Please forgive the quality of this next series of pictures.  I was a little emotional and not quite able to focus on my settings.  It can be hard to see what you are

doing when your tears are fogging up the camera’s eye piece.  :)

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Halle is having a hard time with letting Lily go too.  She is her best friend.  Don’t worry baby, we’ve still got each other!

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What a great big sister.  She is the one trying to help us keep it together!

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August 16, 2010 - 11:16 am

Cheryl Weaver - My sweet friend, I sit here surprised at what a mess I AM in reading this! Brings back memories of when Michaelah started Kindergarten 11 years ago…just as eager and ready to go. This is a beautifully written post and beautiful pics of sweet Lily and her adventure this morning! The ones of Halle just killed me…just PRECIOUS. Thanks for sharing your heart. She IS going to be better than fine! LCS is a GREAT place and she will thrive there! :)

August 16, 2010 - 11:57 am

Carissa Gillam - What a beautiful young lady, and what a beautiful morning! Alexander will start this Friday, and I am dreading it. I thought I’d be fine with it, but one night last week, Jeremy and I were praying for him at bedtime, and I just lost it. I too, have stayed home with him, and it’s scary to think that the world will try to undo all the good traits we’ve instilled in him. So we just tell him to be strong, and we pray for him to be strong, and we leave the rest to the Lord.

Big hugs and kisses to you,
Carissa

August 16, 2010 - 1:44 pm

Kristen - Maggie, This one should have had a tear disclaimer. Such a sweet post and loved the pics (especially the ones with Halle). I’m going to pull myself together and go give Landon an extra big hug before I get back to work. :)

August 16, 2010 - 8:18 pm

Celeste Ashcraft - Oh, Maggie! I know how it is, my “baby” is in 1st grade this year! Although, I did not have as hard of a time with her starting, I’m sure I will be shedding the tears as she goes to 3rd grade in a couple of years, and I really have to let her go then…Right now, she’s at school, but she’s still with me. I think what makes me so sad about it, is how fast they grow up, and how life just never seems to slow down long enough for us to just enjoy them being little. I’ve been trying to focus more on that lately. I know Lily will do great in K, and her mom will adjust just as well…. :)

August 16, 2010 - 8:27 pm

Amber - Oh Maggie….this one made me get teary-eyed. I used to be a Kindergarten teacher and wish so much I was back there. It’s such a special thing being a child’s first teacher. I don’t have one of my own yet so I can only imagine how hard it is to see your little girl go off to Kindergarten but I have seen first hand how hard it can be for both parents and kiddos. It’s a wonderful thing that Lily went into it like a champ…that says alot about what kind of parent you are. :) And when she pulled you down and told you she would miss you….ahhh, my heart’s melting…what a sweetheart! You are are one lucky Momma! Enjoy Lily’s Kindergarten year for it will go too fast. :)

Amber

August 16, 2010 - 8:29 pm

Amber - I wanted to add that although a Kindergarten teacher is a child’s first formal teacher…I certainly know it’s the parents who are truly the child’s first teachers! 😉

August 16, 2010 - 8:35 pm

Maggie Hendrix - Thanks for your comments everyone! I sympathize so much with you mommas! Lily, Halle and I all made it through the day just fine. When Lily got in the car, she asked, “Can I go to school for a thousand of days?!”

August 17, 2010 - 9:28 am

stephanie - Love this post… I cried with and for you as I read it. She will do great! GIve her lots of love from all of us.

August 24, 2010 - 12:10 pm

Arkansas Songbird - Maggie, I boo hooed as I read your post and looked at the sweet pictures. How precious you all are and how fast time flies!!!

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